My creative journey Part 1 – Beyond the mind

More often then not, our innate gifts are not seen, valued or validated as we grow up. Your gift might not express in an artistic way, so feel free to replace art by your own gifts or abilities and see how my story resonates with you.

Today, I present myself as an artist and healer, recovering engineer. It’s only been in the recent years that I began to play with the idea that maybe, in some way, I am an artist. It took explorations and support from mentors, coaches and peers for this sensitive, vulnerable part of me to dare to claim her place in life.

When I’m asked if creativity, painting, drawing has always been with me, my first answer is “yes, but not really”. It wasn’t anything remarkable. It wasn’t valued. 

It felt like it just were small things, nothing noticeable. I was “just playing”.

I certainly didn’t identify as an artist.

My cousin painted watercolor scenes when we were teens. She was an artist in my eyes. 

My younger brother has been drawing since he could hold a pencil – my music schoolbook carries the trace of his 3-year olds first explorations to depict the fascinating tractors moving in our home village. He continuously developed his talent. He is an artist, (and a struggling one – but that’s another story).

My daughter draws amazingly since she’s about ten and I found tremendous pleasure to support her in her choice of art studies. She is an artist.

I’ve seen the artists all around me. But not in me. 


Can you relate to that feeling, that these qualities or abilities that you admire are in others around you, that these people are that, but not you? Weather it is about being an artist or a healer or an entrepreneur – or fill in the blank with your own flavor 😉.

As I made a big shift in my life in my early forties, leading me to leave my mechanical engineering career  to pursue more heart centered values through environmental and societal activism, at some point I needed support and worked with a therapist to help me.

It was 6 years ago and this was a turning point for me and my art expressions.

In one of our sessions, I was insisting that what I needed was to find a way to stand strong, big, tall and move more decisively. I was looping in that when my therapist asked me to pick a piece of paper in the size of my choice and some markers – I picked a big sheet of paper as I was convinced that what needed or wanted to be expressed was BIG. I grasped a black marker and began to draw a small round dot. I felt “there’s nothing more” and contemplated that little black dot, confounded after having argued that my need right now was to stand big and tall and outwardly expressive. … “there’s nothing else, no, there’s nothing else” I could hear in my head. I stoped for a few seconds, looked at this little black dot, feeling that there was nothing else than this little dark place I was so afraid to disappear into. I took it in, admitting that it was so.

And as I moved into acceptance of “that’s all there is right now”, something shifted in me and I felt: “and there is love out there”, tracing a little arc of red, “and warmth, and life” tracing two other arcs in red and green. 

This very simple drawing experience brought me out of my conditioned mind, into the now and connected me with where I actually was and what I needed: to allow myself to rest, go and stay inward a little while and to realize that this little dark hole I feared so much to disappear into was safe and secure, surrounded by love, warmth and life taking care of me while I was in there.

Have you ever caught yourself believing that you should be doing or feeling a certain way while you really needed rest and nurturing?

That was a profound experience me. It showed me how I could access deeper parts of myself, have a new relationship to my needs and my inner world. So I enthusiastically bought my first set of oil pastels crayons and began to intuitively play with colors and shapes.

I played with the symbol of the dot and the colors emerging around it and it became a series of drawings I called “Me and the Universe”

Some iterations of “Me and the Universe”

My 10y old son commented one day in one of my drawing sessions in the living room, on the floor in front of the sofa:

“You are enjoying it so much (to draw) that it doesn’t matter how it looks like in the end.”

My 10y-old son

I was so touched and proud of his sensitive insightfulness and felt so clearly seen.

That’s how drawing became an important source of connection to my inner world and joyful expression and exploration. A starting point of a rich journey with many twists and turns. More in coming posts 😊

What could you discover if you had a playful creative practice?
How could that support your wellbeing and balance your life?

Share in the comments!

And if you know that you want expand your creative powers in service of your joy and show up more fully in the world, book a Vision-Review call here.

Who has the time to play?

It’s so easy to be swept in the momentum of the thinking mind and our to-do lists. But studies show how our work time suffers when we neglect downtime, creativity and play

Have you ever wondered why it feels so difficult sometimes to find joy and playfulness in your life?

I certainly have.

We live in a culture that overvalues our left brain, the rational mind and relegates the emotions to something to leave outside the workplace, something to be controlled and suppressed.

This is also the culture of Hard work, pushing through, survival mode.

As I’m writing I can feel the hard work, pushing through energy activated in me. I’m feeling that this is such a serious topic that I should think a bit more about how to formulate myself, my ideas. That excess of seriousness turns to constriction and my creativity wanes. 

And as I am in the experiment of letting my creative writing find it’s expression and flow, I also remind myself that this post is about play and wouldn’t be as potent if I didn’t invite myself to be in just that energy of play.

You may be objecting “who has the time to play, really?” I certainly know that voice in myself. And the same voice continues saying “that’s not what will make a business go round”. Though I want to challenge this and invite us to look at it more closely.

We don’t need to be in a tug of war between right and left brain. They have both their place. And it is ok to let go of control and let the fingers do their thing on the keyboard. Yes I must admit that this doesn’t feel structured anymore. But how can I invite more play in my writing if I try to figure out en plan and thoroughly weight each word.

So what if play IS what will allow you to be SUSTAINABLE in your business? What if this is an essential energy to invite in our life?

But isn’t play useless and isn’t it selfish to take time for just yourself when there is so much to do and other’s needing you? 

I want to you ask: “What is play?”

I will not here look at the definition in the dictionary though I feel really tempted to and drawn to do that. I might do that a bit later.

But first I want to turn inward and tune into how play feels in my body, in my being.

When I tune into the energy of play, I feel a smile, an amusement. I decide the rules, follow my joy, I feel curious about how it will turn out, I am open to try things differently and I’m less attached to the outcome than to the good feeling along the way. 

Play says “what if I do so?” “Can I use this? I have never tried that before”… 

The energy of play feels light, alive, receptive without taking everything on. It’s an open door to creativity, no expectations, just exploring.


And to find more joy and fulfillment in life, refocusing more on enjoying the process itself rather than achieve a specific outcome is a key ingredient.

When I focus too much on the outcome even playing boardgames looses its qualities of lightness and joy and when winning is all that matters there is a stress, a pressure that comes in to win, prove that I am smarter, stronger. Not so fun anymore.

I’ve been there a lot. And it really struck me when I observed how bad my son was feeling as he didn’t win a game when he was younger (5 to 10y old). I could feel how he took it very personally, making it mean something about his value, abilities rather than something to be taken lightly for the sake of enjoying our time together. 

I came to realize that actually the only reason I played games with my kids or my family was as a way to have a good time together. So nowadays when I’m playing with my son now 15y old and when the game consistently doesn’t really work out and one of us cannot place its pieces, we look at each other with a mischievous glint in the eyes and I say “of course we can push these pieces this way to put this one in here”.

In mutual consent we twist the rules to make the game more fun and we no longer care about who finished first to put it’s own pieces into place but make a sport to try to achieve together to place all the pieces available. So much more fun and a feeling of complicity, playing in our own terms.

Let’s come back now to the definition of play as stated in the dictionary:

Play: verb
engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.”the children were playing by a pool”

“Rather than a serious or practical purpose” That’s exactly where it usually becomes tricky for me to prioritize and allow myself to play more – and it’s still a work in progress! 😉 Can you relate?

Because in my upbringing, the culture I’ve grown into and still am in some ways today is SERIOUS and values PRACTICAL PURPOSE.

And one of my shadow expression according to Genekeys is SERIOUSNESS and for me being seen as frivolous has felt threatening. Much less so today and still, I can feel that first reaction where I try to justify why I do what I do, showing how useful and serious it is so that no one can accuse me to be frivolous, not serious.

Being seen as less than serious, as frivolous or lazy has felt threatening because of the fear of not being accepted and loved by others who are living according the hard work paradigm. This made it very tricky for me to feel good despite the life style I had started to create for me as I had left my corporate job and built up my skills and my business, adapting the schedule of the days to my needs rather to conform to external standards about when to work, eat, replenish. 

It also played out on my journey of expansion of my artist side – from constriction to a discovery of a multifaceted expression – more about that in a coming post.

So all these rules for fitting in have been like boxes that no longer serves me and it has been a long journey of deconstruction and finding a new dance between structure and flow. A dance to be reinvented day after day 😊

Can you see how accessing more of the energy of play – enjoying the process, daring to try out new way, inviting more lightness will make a difference in your business or work? Leave a comment!

Let’s explore more of that together! Book your Vision Review Call here!

Do you trust your desires?

We live in a culture where we haven’t been taught our goodness and that our desires are valid and there for you to become the highest version of yourself – the person who can live your desired life.

How do you relate to your desires?

Do you believe that what you deep down desire is possible for you to experience? Or do you more often than not, suppress what you want, as you look at the situation, circumstances, people involved and deem that it’s not possible anyway?

I know too well that feeling and though I know I have grown and expanded a lot in the past few years, I have seen myself in the past weeks repeated times feeling that what I actually desire is too much asked from these persons, in these particular circumstances.

A couple of these occurrences happened as I was in a week training retreat where in one occasion when we were invited to step into the group to ask for something we’d like, I sat there not really feeling what I would ask when another woman shared her wish. And when asked which of the two persons she had asked she would choose, she said as it was: she didn’t want to choose but have this moment with both. As I witnessed her, I could feel how she was modeling for me the possibility and the goodness of desiring and asking for as much as she actually did. Her wish could have been mine and I felt how I wouldn’t have dared to do it, ashamed of wanting so much attention.

And here I saw it demonstrated that there was actually no shame and that her wish was well received.
Life is coming back and showing me, that the most rewarding way is to vulnerably ask for what you want. And that by doing so, you go from 100% certainty to not receive to a chance to do so.

Can you relate to that? Have you ever felt you are wanting too much?
My mother used to say to me as I grew up “You want so much, Olivia”. And this voice translated as an internal judge making a point to prevent me from experiencing the pain of hearing someone’s rejection of my desire.

This strategy served me well as a child. Today it just prevents me from receiving and thriving.
The Universe is serving me with repeated occasions to ask, step out of my comfort zone, give myself a chance to get what I want, instead of denying myself what I want.

Although it is a frustrating place to be when the awareness has risen enough to get aware just shortly after an opportunity to ask for what I want, it is also a great step. And with my growing frustration, grows my motivation and my courage to make new decisions.

When beginning 2020 I discovered the channellings of Abraham Hicks- it struck me that I never looked at life from the lens that what I desire is valid if for nothing else than to set me into motion to discover the deeper layer and that it’s the moving to close the gap that is delightful more than a final goal. Because there will be always more.

The journey of trusting that “my preferences matter” takes time and is a muscle to grow and exercise and it continues over time, from one area of life to another, of realizing that if it’s true here, it is also there.
It a healing journey where our wounded inner child needs our parenting to tell her “I know you are scared, that you have been hurt but I got you”.

Do you trust the goodness of your desires?
What can you do to take a risk to receive?
What are the costs of staying small and safe?

What soul calling are you shying from?

After I left my corporate engineering job over 7 years ago to follow my soul’s calling for living more fully aligned with my core values, more connected to Life and nature, I gradually connected to a dream of Heart Centered Community to create whole new ways of living together and thrive on a living Earth.

Our journey is a succession of commitment cycles

As I made the leap to quit my engineering job for creating a life more Life giving, I was studying natural farming and permaculture, supported by my partner without knowing how I would create that place I had begun to visualize where people would come to reconnect with themselves, nature and a deeper sense of meaning.

The vision deepened during a 9-month-course in “Inner Leadership for Outer Change” from my mentor Debbie Warrener from England. It became more clearly about creating a new Earth, in a co-living conscious community. As I explored that vision, I could really feel in my all being how it would feel to live that way and soon I made my first steps to join a building community.

I backed off from that group, somewhat bruised and determined to find more tools to navigate group dynamics, create supportive communities and gather my tribe.

At this point I left my 24-year relationship, started my coaching journey and begun creating my own business to support others to step into the call of their soul.

From being my main drive, the community dream glided in the background, emerging regularly in the foreground time and again.

About a month ago, I felt called to check out the details of a 3-month-long conscious community experiment. This launched a tremendous amount of internal movement. First reconnecting to the Soul calling, then all kinds of fears inherent to initiating big changes.

WHAT first!

In my process to decide if I wanted to apply to live for 3 month in another European country, I heard myself say “not in my current financial situation”. 

That woke me up. This wasn’t an answer to “Do I want to do that?” This was answering : “Do I know HOW to get there?” And if there is something that I know and integrate more and more is that this is NEVER the first question to ask yourself.

When you set out a vision, or make a significant decision at any step of your journey, what matters first is to answer WHAT do you want. Really connect to the YES or no for the what in itself.

The HOW will then unfold once you are committed.

As soon as I asked myself the question, “If the finance was taken care of, would I want to do that?” My answers became clear. I am a YES for moving in that direction. Then a wave of emotion came through and I connected to the wounds after my first attempt to join a community. My fears of not being able to handle what happens in a group. My fears of not having the inner resources to meet other people and stay true to me. And then recognizing that these fears don’t justify stopping living. That it is the vulnerable journey of love and connection. That’s my journey. The warrior of Love. 

Then inspiration directly flowed with ideas for helping my finances to support my soul’s goal. 

Ensued shaking waves of healing.

Have you also experience a lot of turbulences lately and old woundings coming up to the surface? For me it has been intense and still going on, so I’m grateful to take a few days off during Easter to integrate, nurture and recharge!

How are You answering your soul’s calling?

Share in the comments!

Celebrate each step… Anyway!

Highs and lows. Do you ever feel you’ll never really reach the mark? That the deeds of one day don’t seem to prevent you to fall again?

  • Law of more Life
  • Self-Love
  • What you focus on grows

“The more you are, the more you can become, and the more you can become, the more you can yet be.” 

― Neale Donald Walsch, The Complete Conversations with God

Highs and lows. Do you ever feel you’ll never really reach the mark? That the deeds of one day don’t seem to prevent you to fall again? 

How can we look at these steps back and forth? 

About a month ago, I just had such an experience. I had just begun to get back in a flow of enjoying meeting people around where I live after many weeks of isolation. Even though Sweden has never been in full lockdown as many other parts of the world, there has been restrictions and I chose to stay more home in response to all that was going on.

So when I got invited by someone I met a couple of years ago for a diner, it felt really joyful to socialize more. We had diner and later in the evening the tone shifted from the trivial conversation to sexual advances.

Rather than obeying the cautious convention to deflect the advances, I stayed wondering what degree of intimacy I actually wanted with this person. At some point I felt a freeze – thoughts of what I wanted to express, more and more pressing inside my head that I couldn’t voice- while feeling contradictory feelings. I then remembered that I can step back physically and from a bit more distance, feel myself more and express what is going on for me. 

So I stepped back, and could communicate again. A positive step towards how I want to connect to others: In my sovereignty and ability to speak my truth.

The exchange continued and I experienced with delight moments of unconventional exploration of what is really true to me in the moment, exercising to share in the moment my observations and what I was open for or not. The delight was in the awareness that I was meeting this person from a sovereign place where my own yesses and no’s were guiding me rather than the conditioning and societal rules and norms. I was completely out of charted territory and it felt really good.

As the evening when further, I needed to interrupt the interaction and went home. I knew he got surprised by the abrupt ending, but I chose to follow my intuition and body wisdom.

At home, as I looked back at the unfolding of the evening, I felt the wonder and awe of these moments of daring to step outside the lines and connect to my truth and desires and communicate that vulnerably, authentically in the moment. These steps were so welcome!

Later next day, the person came back to me wanting to hear some explanation on what happened. I first felt my joy of these for me amazing steps, but soon felt insecure to share this unconventional truth on how I enjoyed coming to my clarity the way I did. I felt the freeze come back, the scared part of me arising when my truth feels potentially dissonant with the other person’s feelings. As he left before I managed to find my ground and courage to share, this felt like a huge hurtful setback.

Gone was my joy, my pride. I just felt how hard I had fallen “again”.

A conversation with my coach cued me back to consider the victory, the steps, moments of sovereignty and authentic relating rather than focusing on the downfall later.

It took me one more week and a conversation with a friend to see the parallel of that story and what she described as her habit of beating herself to not know better yet though she was also aware that she was in a learning process.

At this moment it was so obvious: of course the steps that the toddler is taking are what deserves our celebration and attention – whether it’s one, two, or three before he falls again  or more. The baby is taking the steps, managing them for the first time, progressing, getting up again and again until some day he masters going on his own two feet.

It wouldn’t occur to me to shout or scorn to a baby and tell her “See you fell again! You’re really worthless. You should know better by now”

From that moment I could clearly see that it was exactly the same for that incident – magnificent steps in relationship mastery to rejoice in – rather than taking score on the next misstep.

Celebrate each step – see the beauty – acknowledge the progress, remembering that mastery comes with repetition, implying many missteps along the road, none of them diminishing the value and validity of all the steps taken. And that you will never be done. There will always be new degrees of mastery in your life, new layers ready to unfold.

“I haven’t failed — I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Thomas Edison

So let go of beating yourself up and recognize the beauty and awe of you in your journey, always evolving, never done. Feed your soul by noticing where you are now, what you never before had been able to do. Feel the evolution, the territories you wouldn’t have been able to travel, a month, a year, a decade ago.

Embrace the Law of More Life, teaching us that there will always be more to become. You have already become so much, learned, evolved. And there are always new mountain tops to be conquered, discovered, enjoyed and savored.

How are you relating to you success and failures?
Where to do you give your attention, your energy? 

What would be available if you celebrated your steps?

Your sleep is as unique as you are

Comparison to a norm gets you stuck

⁃ How is you relationship to your sleep?
⁃ What ideas do you have that are in the way of an harmonious sleep experience?
⁃ How often are you lying in your bed worrying not getting the rest you need and long for?

As in any other area in life, comparing yourself to a norm or an ideal gets you stuck and drains your energy and wellbeing.
Now is the time to color outside the lines under the moonlight!

  • How is you relationship to your sleep?
  • What ideas do you have that are in the way of an harmonious sleep experience?
  • How often are you lying in your bed worrying not getting the rest you need and long for?

As in any other area in life, comparing yourself to a norm or an ideal gets you stuck and drains your energy and wellbeing.

Now is the time to color outside the lines under the moonlight!

Comparison to a norm gets you stuck

Ruler of your own story

Believing that you should fall asleep right away, sleep without any moments of waking throughout the night and wake up clear and fresh, ready to jump into your day are affirmations that can poison your relationship to your sleep. I know, I’ve done that for a long time, experiencing difficulties to get asleep, waking up and feeling distressed, worrying that I wouldn’t get enough rest if I stayed awake any longer, and feeling tired in the morning, finding it difficult to feel good straight away, longing for that smile on my face as I entered a new day.

I was living in the story telling me THE way good sleep looks like. As my experience differed from that ideal and more and more tensions and unease built up, I was falling in the trap of unconsciously trying to fit into a norm that didn’t reflect my reality.

Unconsciously because I wasn’t aware that a good night sleep could also have as many varietions in form as there are human beings and expressions.

I discovered in a series of short lectures from Jennifer Piercy how I got myself trapped into a mold that didn’t correspond to how I’m naturally and perfectly built.

One big take away for me was hearing about the fact that the idea that night sleep is a one sleep period without awakening until the morning is in fact something that started with the industrial revolution when workers had to go to the factories at a specific time, while before that it was common to understand that we could have a first sleep period with a moment of waking followed by a second sleep period. That was an a-ha moment for me.

I recognized that sleep has it’s ebb and flow and that I didn’t need to monitor or manage those waves, just ease into them. Trusting the perfection and intelligence of my body.

Another golden nugget I got from that series, was about waking up in the morning.

Lately I got very aware of my state of being as I wake up as I was studying Abraham Hicks teachings and hearing how each morning was a new set point for our day.

Hearing the description of awakening as a transition period that is precious and need allowance to be slow instead of the the jump-bright-and-ready-instantly ideal opened a window of fresh air in my psyche. Seeing the slow awakening period as welcome, as a rich in between worlds period where creativity can emerge, and a reconnection with the self, observing what changed in me, allowing the foggy sensation just be was such a liberation, an acknowledgment of the goodness of the way I wake up.

Looking back, I can see how these beliefs around sleep and waking up have been a denial of my natural way, a violation of my own pace, a declaration of unworthiness as I didn’t meet this basic standard that should be there naturally. All this because I didn’t realize how conditioned I had been and that these models or ideals don’t reflect the reality and diversity of being human.

No wonder that this has been undermining my wellbeing: each time we believe that there’s something wrong with us, it undermines our self confidence and drains a lot of lifeforce out of us.

Connecting to nature’s rhythms

Another aspect that also fully resonates, is to reconnect to nature’s rhythms as the sun’s by getting direct sunlight in the morning and avoiding and minimizing artificial lights in the evening to let our natural internal clock calibrate and led us easier into harmonious sleep and wake time.

Radical acceptance – the pathway to self-love and well-being 

There are so many areas we carry beliefs and conditioning we don’t even realize we have. How we judge our sleep patterns is one. And here too, we need to remember that we are all unique and comparing ourselves to any norm or standard is the best way to get stuck.

So here too, I invite you to color outside the lines, discover your own natural way, trust the infinite intelligence of your body and be at peace with the way that is your own.

Be unapologetically you!


You can find Jennifer Piercy series “Your Guide to Deeper Sleep” on Insight Timer

⁃ What other areas in your life could be liberated of the norm?

⁃ How can you free yourself and expand your impact in the world?

Book a conversation with me or leave your comments! And share if you know someone who would benefit from this reading.

Lots of Love

Life is expansion

A reflection about the calling for more alignment and focus on what we want to grow and expand in our lives. A look at some Universal Laws.

A reflection about the calling for more alignment and focus on what we want to grow and expand in our lives. A look at some Universal Laws.

The Law of more Life

One of the Universal Laws is the “Law of More Life” – the ever expansion of the Universe, the ever expansion of our consciousness. This is the Law that is behind our inextinguible thirst for new experiences, for more of that we love.

We can look at nature to see the Universal Laws in action. Like the oak tree growing all its life, never asking himself if it should stop and be satisfied with the size he has, not growing through comparison to the others, but just growing because that’s what life is about.

The “Law of more Life” tells us that there will always be new territories to be discovered. If we set a goal to come at the top of the mountain, this mountain being the highest and most beautiful spot in life we know, once we come to the top and enjoy the place, we discover a new landscape we had no clue about, with new treasures we couldn’t figure out before, and naturally, as beautifully the mountain top we arrived to was, we want more, discover the new territory, up to the new limits we got aware of.

Photo from Pixabay

This tells us that we never are done, we never arrive. So all these things that we believe we will do then, when we have arrived, when we are done, will never happen if they are not an ingredients of the journey. When we understand that life is a journey and not a destination, we also understand that what we want to achieve we actually want to enjoy the journey itself and find the treasures we believe to find at the destination, find them in the journey.

More on the subject – Read « Have you lost your North Star 🌟 ? » from my blog and try out my guided experience. Read more….

About navigating towards your goals

How do you course correct?
From pain and dissatisfaction or from pleasure and gratitude?

There are two principles in Life that has long felt like an impossible paradoxe to me, meaning two things that don’t seem possible to exist at the same time.

One is:

⁃ What you resist persist

The other says:

⁃ What we focus on grows – or in other words:
– Energy flows where attention goes.

Where energy flows… (picture Pixabay)

« What we resist persists » tells tells us about the need to acknowledge what is. If we have a pain and deny its existence and push it away, it will stay. Because that pain is telling you something – about a need, an emotion.

It is about loving what is. When you tell someone you love her only if she changes – stops being so upset or stops making so much noise or have a different color – it will hurt because the only thing she need is being loved just as she is.

This is the same for any part of us. If you push a pain away, want it to disappear, change into another feeling that you prefer, it will just be there and shout even louder so that you hear it.

On the other hand we have « What we focus on grows ».

If I focus on the pain, the things that hurt, doesn’t function in my life, I will soon have my awareness filled with what I experience as negative and before long I will see more of all that I don’t want and don’t like, spending time and attention in describing and talking about all these pains, with a growing feeling of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

So how do we navigate towards fulfillment, happiness or any of our goals?

If we want to go somewhere, we need to know where we are in relation to that place.

If you have a map showing you where your goal is, it won’t help you if you have no idea or pretend that you are anywhere else then where you are.

What will inform you about what is the right step for you to come to your goal is where you are now.

You cannot know if you need to go South, West or North if you don’t know your actual position in relation to the Goal.

If I want to join Paris and I’m in Stockholm, I will need to head South-West. If I’m in Madrid, I will need to head North-East. Opposite movements for the same destination.

The same is true if your goal is a feeling, it will depend on what you are dealing with now for you to reach your goal. What you need is different if you are experiencing grief than anger even if in both case you long for peace.

So we need to know and acknowledge what is, where we are now. And it’s not serving to dwell on it or try to push it away by wanting it to be different.

If you try to navigate from the pain, trying to fix it and change it – you will just see it persisting until you accept that this is here.

If you on the other hand can also see that there is already peace (or whatever is your goal or preference) in some places in yourself, in your life, your reality, you can focus on that, feel gratitude and thankful for that and acknowledge that this is what you want more of.

It’s like discovering that a door is closed and try to force it open. Instead of acknowledging that this door is closed and it feels and is as it is now and look around and see where is an opening.

Real threat or mental fear?

How to distinguish between real danger and fear induced by thoughts and take action that brings you back to solid ground.

In these times fear is high and amplified. Many of our fears are disconnected from an actual danger and are the result of the speculation of the mind trying to hold us safe and results instead in keeping us paralyze or going for actions that don’t serve the highest good of all.

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”

Marianne Williamson

How can we handle fear and get to clarity? Here are my reflections on that.

Fear is a call to focused attention and action.
When you feel fear and cannot point to what it relates, the feeling is calling for the question “What action should be taken?”
It’s a call to be in the present moment. It gives you the energy and focus needed to handle change. It asks you to pause and notice. When allowing yourself to be in that inquiry, clear answers will come.

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.”

Jiddu Krishnamurti

As I named it in the video, you might want to try out a meditation to take you back to the present moment and relax as no immediate danger is threatening you, so that you can come back to the parasympathetic nervous system that allows you to see and take care of the whole and allows your higher cognitive faculties to be available to you. When we are and stay in a state of fear, these are blocked and you act from the most primitive part of the brain.

16 min meditation “Panic and anxiety relief” by Andrea Watcher
(Insight Timer)

You can also try out these other techniques to come back to your body and be with your fear with the fear melters from Gay Hendricks.
Read my post on them here: “Melting fears into flow

How does it lands for you? Share your your reflections
And if you found this information relevant, share with whoever you feel could benefit from that.

Spread the love ❤️!

Further reading: “The Language of Emotion” by Karla McLaren

Have you lost your North Star?

Have you ever felt you’ve lost why you are doing things?

What really makes sense to you? What really gives you energy to get up in the morning and makes you excited to start a new day?

That’s what having a vision is for.

Maybe you already worked with your personal vision at some point in the past.

But you are evolving, changing all the time, having new experiences, learning, discovering new aspects, having new insights.

That’s what I got in contact with while doing my body painting practice one morning. Watch and listen to the words…

Time to Dream Again
To reconnect with my star
My North Star
The one 
That shines for me

To ask my heart
How does it look like
From the new vantage point
I’ve came to

I don’t recognize anymore
What I once dreamt
I’m unsure what it all means today
So it’s time to pause

Time to feel
And wonder
And let what’s true
Reach me again

(C) Olivia Florian – 2019

So even when you connected to your vision at some point you need to check in with it again. Review it. Feel into what’s really true now. Is your vision still aligned and lighting you up or are there elements that needs to be reframed so that it reflects the person you have become?

Or maybe you never really worked with an own vision and wonder what’s in it for you?

It’s really about coming out of survival mode and move into thriving mode.

Instead of continuing to do the things that you always have done and that have maintained you alive but that don’t work anymore for you to feel fulfilled.

A vision is a compass for navigating your life. Like the North Star 🌟 

It’s a reminder of what you are here for. Where you are going. It’s what makes your heart rejoice.

When you are in that place where you feel that nothing’s working, where joy eludes you, without a clear North Star, the risk is that you navigate life by trying to escape the pain, the unfulfilling job, the unsatisfying relationship.

The down side of motivation by rejection is that it stays strong only as long you are in the midst of what’s painful. As soon you have taken some step away, the discomfort is less intense and thus your motivation too.

More than that it does really give you a direction. When you want to avoid a situation, anything else will do. But what is it you really want?

On the other hand when you have a North Star, a clear identified desire, you have now a direction. And each step towards it strengthens your motivation. It acts like a magnet for you.

Outer change begins inside

And the magnet is really where your attention is going, on what you are focusing on. In the case of escaping a unpleasant situation, your thoughts and focus are on the situation, on that you don’t want. On the other hand, when you are focused on your North Star you are giving attention to your desire. Your thoughts are a creative force. That’s where all starts.

Connect to what you really love and want

A challenge can be to allow yourself to express your actual dream, what you really long for because your rational mind just tells you as soon as you start to express your dream that you have no idea on how to do that, that it’s too big, unrealistic.

When your dream is too far from your present life experience there are no evidence in sight that what you are wanting is in the realm of possibilities. You need a change of perspective to move towards your dream. If you see life as a static picture and just look at this present moment picture, it’s very probable that you won’t find what you are looking for in that picture. But if you see life as a process where the picture evolves all the time, revealing new aspects of life and yourself, the picture step by step, choice by choice, reveals more and you come closer to your dream.

Let go of “how”, start with “What”

When you start to explore your vision you need to listen to your heart, your soul, your higher self and see WHAT you desire and let the HOW come later when the picture is sufficiently clear and anchored, including your specific role in the whole picture that you depicted. 

If you let the HOW come too early, you will end up with at vision that doesn’t fulfill your soul or your heart and the motivation will just be short lasting and soon disappear.

The path is the goal

A trap that happens with vision is to consider it like a faraway dream, something we will eventually get to someday. But the only moment we are alive is Now. The past is gone and the future is just a infinite potential of possibilities or fear depending on the energy we come from.

Living goal oriented is like wanting to attain the top of a mountain. What we discover once we come there, is a new landscape we couldn’t see nor imagine before, new places to discover. A new mountain to climb. 

Another metaphor for life is to understand it as a dance. In a dance you’re not aiming to go from A to B. What matters is all that happens during the dance: the movements, the rhythms, the sensations, the experience of flow and harmony (or disruption and chaos ;).

So why having a vision and goals? To express ourselves, experience life, choose a life path according to our preferences and unique abilities. And be aware of the way you love to feel, prefer to feel, and choose what will give you now and later this feeling.

As only the present moment is real and no goal is ever the ultimate goal, by knowing your souls feelings – those state you actually want to live from, feel more often in your life, you can use them in the present to both fuel you and be your compass.

To discover the role of these feelings and get a taste of you own soul feelings, click here to play with me in a guided exercise to help you bring this to light.

Storms of despair

Sometimes I wonder
How am I really doing
Lately I’ve been so easily intensely shaken
Strong feelings, no more horizon, no more perspective
Just feeling the hardship

What to do when it comes strong
Again and again?
I know these feelings need to be felt
The part feeling distressed, crying for love and support
In a world that doesn’t seem
To offer just that

Or is it true?
I know also the infinite beauty
I also heard that voice in me
So late as yesterday
Saying- there’s nothing wrong with this planet
All is there for love to be felt
And expressed

And my emotional waves continue
To give me rides in the depths of despair
Where I see no light
No bright futures to hold onto
As a raft of the tumultuous
Ocean of pain, doubts, brokenness

So I try to sit beside me
And feel the love for this creature who’s me
That she’s craving
That’s all she needs
Being loved in all her aspects
And more than anything else
She wants to feel how She
Life, humans, trees, the mysteries

Waves, ebb and flows
How do I help these suffering parts of me to see
That there are all reasons
To stand up again
And that the feeling of ease and joy
Can stay more tangible

Some people tell me
It’s a choice to be made
Moment by moment
To feel and fuel yourself
From ease and joy
From Love
From source

She prays
That next time the stormy feeling settles
And let the surface of her inner world
Rest in beauty and light
For the peaceful feeling
To linger longer in her
So she can feel nurtured
And build her strength
So that she might
Act in this world
And spread her light
To all others

She has also been reminded of
Not to take her waves, her up and downs
Too personally
Not make it mean anything about herself
About her worthiness
These are waves
Where highs and lows follow each other’s
In cycles repeating themselves
Just be with it

And choose
In life
And land into what is
Rest at the low of the waves