Celebrate each step… Anyway!

Highs and lows. Do you ever feel you’ll never really reach the mark? That the deeds of one day don’t seem to prevent you to fall again?

  • Law of more Life
  • Self-Love
  • What you focus on grows

“The more you are, the more you can become, and the more you can become, the more you can yet be.” 

― Neale Donald Walsch, The Complete Conversations with God

Highs and lows. Do you ever feel you’ll never really reach the mark? That the deeds of one day don’t seem to prevent you to fall again? 

How can we look at these steps back and forth? 

About a month ago, I just had such an experience. I had just begun to get back in a flow of enjoying meeting people around where I live after many weeks of isolation. Even though Sweden has never been in full lockdown as many other parts of the world, there has been restrictions and I chose to stay more home in response to all that was going on.

So when I got invited by someone I met a couple of years ago for a diner, it felt really joyful to socialize more. We had diner and later in the evening the tone shifted from the trivial conversation to sexual advances.

Rather than obeying the cautious convention to deflect the advances, I stayed wondering what degree of intimacy I actually wanted with this person. At some point I felt a freeze – thoughts of what I want to express, more and more pressing inside my head that I can’t voice- while feeling contradictory feelings. I then remembered that I can step back and from a bit more distance, feel myself more and express what is going on for me. 

So I did, and could communicate again. A positive step towards how I want to connect to others: In my sovereignty and ability to speak my truth.

The exchange continued and I experienced with delight moments of unconventional exploration of what is really true to me in the moment, exercising to share in the moment my observations and what I was open for or not. The delight was in the awareness that I was meeting this person from a sovereign place where my own yes and no where guiding me rather than the conditioning and societal rules and norms. I was completely out of charted territory and it felt really good.

As the evening when further, I needed to interrupt the interaction and went home. I knew he got surprised by the abrupt ending, but I chose to follow my intuition and body wisdom.

At home, as I looked back at the unfolding of the evening, I felt the wonder and awe of these moments of daring to step outside the lines and connect to my truth and desires and communicate that vulnerably, authentically in the moment. These steps were so welcome!

Later next day, the person came back to me wanting to hear some explanation on what happened. I first felt my joy of these for me amazing steps, but soon felt insecure to share this unconventional truth on how I enjoyed coming to my clarity the way I did. I felt the freeze come back, the scared part of me arising when my truth feels potentially dissonant with the other person’s feelings. As he left before I managed to find my ground and courage to share, this felt like a huge hurtful setback.

Gone was my joy, my pride. I just felt how hard I had fallen “again”.

A conversation with my coach cued me back to consider the victory, the steps, moments of sovereignty and authentic relating rather than focusing on the downfall later.

It took me one more week and a conversation with a friend to see the parallel of that story and what she described as her habit of beating herself to not know better yet though she was also aware that she was in a learning process.

At this moment it was so obvious: of course the steps that the toddler is taking are what deserves our celebration and attention – whether it’s one, two, or three before he falls again  or more. The baby is taking the steps, managing them for the first time, progressing, getting up again and again until some day he masters going on his own two feet.

It wouldn’t occur to me to shout or scorn to a baby and tell her “See you fell again! You’re really worthless. You should know better by now”

From that moment I could clearly see that it was exactly the same for that incident – magnificent steps in relationship mastery to rejoice in – rather than taking score on the next misstep.

Celebrate each step – see the beauty – acknowledge the progress, remembering that mastery comes with repetition, implying many missteps along the road, none of them diminishing the value and validity of all the steps taken.

“I haven’t failed — I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

Let go of beating yourself up and recognize the beauty and awe of you in your journey, always evolving, never done.

How are you relating to you success and failures?

Where to do you give your attention, your energy? 

What would be available if you celebrated your steps?

Your sleep is as unique as you are

Comparison to a norm gets you stuck

⁃ How is you relationship to your sleep?
⁃ What ideas do you have that are in the way of an harmonious sleep experience?
⁃ How often are you lying in your bed worrying not getting the rest you need and long for?

As in any other area in life, comparing yourself to a norm or an ideal gets you stuck and drains your energy and wellbeing.
Now is the time to color outside the lines under the moonlight!

  • How is you relationship to your sleep?
  • What ideas do you have that are in the way of an harmonious sleep experience?
  • How often are you lying in your bed worrying not getting the rest you need and long for?

As in any other area in life, comparing yourself to a norm or an ideal gets you stuck and drains your energy and wellbeing.

Now is the time to color outside the lines under the moonlight!

Comparison to a norm gets you stuck

Ruler of your own story

Believing that you should fall asleep right away, sleep without any moments of waking throughout the night and wake up clear and fresh, ready to jump into your day are affirmations that can poison your relationship to your sleep. I know, I’ve done that for a long time, experiencing difficulties to get asleep, waking up and feeling distressed, worrying that I wouldn’t get enough rest if I stayed awake any longer, and feeling tired in the morning, finding it difficult to feel good straight away, longing for that smile on my face as I entered a new day.

I was living in the story telling me THE way good sleep looks like. As my experience differed from that ideal and more and more tensions and unease built up, I was falling in the trap of unconsciously trying to fit into a norm that didn’t reflect my reality.

Unconsciously because I wasn’t aware that a good night sleep could also have as many varietions in form as there are human beings and expressions.

I discovered in a series of short lectures from Jennifer Piercy how I got myself trapped into a mold that didn’t correspond to how I’m naturally and perfectly built.

One big take away for me was hearing about the fact that the idea that night sleep is a one sleep period without awakening until the morning is in fact something that started with the industrial revolution when workers had to go to the factories at a specific time, while before that it was common to understand that we could have a first sleep period with a moment of waking followed by a second sleep period. That was an a-ha moment for me.

I recognized that sleep has it’s ebb and flow and that I didn’t need to monitor or manage those waves, just ease into them. Trusting the perfection and intelligence of my body.

Another golden nugget I got from that series, was about waking up in the morning.

Lately I got very aware of my state of being as I wake up as I was studying Abraham Hicks teachings and hearing how each morning was a new set point for our day.

Hearing the description of awakening as a transition period that is precious and need allowance to be slow instead of the the jump-bright-and-ready-instantly ideal opened a window of fresh air in my psyche. Seeing the slow awakening period as welcome, as a rich in between worlds period where creativity can emerge, and a reconnection with the self, observing what changed in me, allowing the foggy sensation just be was such a liberation, an acknowledgment of the goodness of the way I wake up.

Looking back, I can see how these beliefs around sleep and waking up have been a denial of my natural way, a violation of my own pace, a declaration of unworthiness as I didn’t meet this basic standard that should be there naturally. All this because I didn’t realize how conditioned I had been and that these models or ideals don’t reflect the reality and diversity of being human.

No wonder that this has been undermining my wellbeing: each time we believe that there’s something wrong with us, it undermines our self confidence and drains a lot of lifeforce out of us.

Connecting to nature’s rhythms

Another aspect that also fully resonates, is to reconnect to nature’s rhythms as the sun’s by getting direct sunlight in the morning and avoiding and minimizing artificial lights in the evening to let our natural internal clock calibrate and led us easier into harmonious sleep and wake time.

Radical acceptance – the pathway to self-love and well-being 

There are so many areas we carry beliefs and conditioning we don’t even realize we have. How we judge our sleep patterns is one. And here too, we need to remember that we are all unique and comparing ourselves to any norm or standard is the best way to get stuck.

So here too, I invite you to color outside the lines, discover your own natural way, trust the infinite intelligence of your body and be at peace with the way that is your own.

Be unapologetically you!


You can find Jennifer Piercy series “Your Guide to Deeper Sleep” on Insight Timer


⁃ What other areas in your life could be liberated of the norm?

⁃ How can you free yourself and expand your impact in the world?

Book a conversation with me or leave your comments! And share if you know someone who would benefit from this reading.

Lots of Love

Life is expansion

A reflection about the calling for more alignment and focus on what we want to grow and expand in our lives. A look at some Universal Laws.

A reflection about the calling for more alignment and focus on what we want to grow and expand in our lives. A look at some Universal Laws.

The Law of more Life

One of the Universal Laws is the “Law of More Life” – the ever expansion of the Universe, the ever expansion of our consciousness. This is the Law that is behind our inextinguible thirst for new experiences, for more of that we love.

We can look at nature to see the Universal Laws in action. Like the oak tree growing all its life, never asking himself if it should stop and be satisfied with the size he has, not growing through comparison to the others, but just growing because that’s what life is about.

The “Law of more Life” tells us that there will always be new territories to be discovered. If we set a goal to come at the top of the mountain, this mountain being the highest and most beautiful spot in life we know, once we come to the top and enjoy the place, we discover a new landscape we had no clue about, with new treasures we couldn’t figure out before, and naturally, as beautifully the mountain top we arrived to was, we want more, discover the new territory, up to the new limits we got aware of.

Photo from Pixabay

This tells us that we never are done, we never arrive. So all these things that we believe we will do then, when we have arrived, when we are done, will never happen if they are not an ingredients of the journey. When we understand that life is a journey and not a destination, we also understand that what we want to achieve we actually want to enjoy the journey itself and find the treasures we believe to find at the destination, find them in the journey.

More on the subject – Read « Have you lost your North Star 🌟 ? » from my blog and try out my guided experience. Read more….

About navigating towards your goals

How do you course correct?
From pain and dissatisfaction or from pleasure and gratitude?

There are two principles in Life that has long felt like an impossible paradoxe to me, meaning two things that don’t seem possible to exist at the same time.

One is:

⁃ What you resist persist

The other says:

⁃ What we focus on grows – or in other words:
– Energy flows where attention goes.

Where energy flows… (picture Pixabay)

« What we resist persists » tells tells us about the need to acknowledge what is. If we have a pain and deny its existence and push it away, it will stay. Because that pain is telling you something – about a need, an emotion.

It is about loving what is. When you tell someone you love her only if she changes – stops being so upset or stops making so much noise or have a different color – it will hurt because the only thing she need is being loved just as she is.

This is the same for any part of us. If you push a pain away, want it to disappear, change into another feeling that you prefer, it will just be there and shout even louder so that you hear it.

On the other hand we have « What we focus on grows ».

If I focus on the pain, the things that hurt, doesn’t function in my life, I will soon have my awareness filled with what I experience as negative and before long I will see more of all that I don’t want and don’t like, spending time and attention in describing and talking about all these pains, with a growing feeling of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

So how do we navigate towards fulfillment, happiness or any of our goals?

If we want to go somewhere, we need to know where we are in relation to that place.

If you have a map showing you where your goal is, it won’t help you if you have no idea or pretend that you are anywhere else then where you are.

What will inform you about what is the right step for you to come to your goal is where you are now.

You cannot know if you need to go South, West or North if you don’t know your actual position in relation to the Goal.

If I want to join Paris and I’m in Stockholm, I will need to head South-West. If I’m in Madrid, I will need to head North-East. Opposite movements for the same destination.

The same is true if your goal is a feeling, it will depend on what you are dealing with now for you to reach your goal. What you need is different if you are experiencing grief than anger even if in both case you long for peace.

So we need to know and acknowledge what is, where we are now. And it’s not serving to dwell on it or try to push it away by wanting it to be different.

If you try to navigate from the pain, trying to fix it and change it – you will just see it persisting until you accept that this is here.

If you on the other hand can also see that there is already peace (or whatever is your goal or preference) in some places in yourself, in your life, your reality, you can focus on that, feel gratitude and thankful for that and acknowledge that this is what you want more of.

It’s like discovering that a door is closed and try to force it open. Instead of acknowledging that this door is closed and it feels and is as it is now and look around and see where is an opening.

Real threat or mental fear?

How to distinguish between real danger and fear induced by thoughts and take action that brings you back to solid ground.

In these times fear is high and amplified. Many of our fears are disconnected from an actual danger and are the result of the speculation of the mind trying to hold us safe and results instead in keeping us paralyze or going for actions that don’t serve the highest good of all.

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”

Marianne Williamson

How can we handle fear and get to clarity? Here are my reflections on that.

Fear is a call to focused attention and action.
When you feel fear and cannot point to what it relates, the feeling is calling for the question “What action should be taken?”
It’s a call to be in the present moment. It gives you the energy and focus needed to handle change. It asks you to pause and notice. When allowing yourself to be in that inquiry, clear answers will come.

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.”

Jiddu Krishnamurti

As I named it in the video, you might want to try out a meditation to take you back to the present moment and relax as no immediate danger is threatening you, so that you can come back to the parasympathetic nervous system that allows you to see and take care of the whole and allows your higher cognitive faculties to be available to you. When we are and stay in a state of fear, these are blocked and you act from the most primitive part of the brain.

16 min meditation “Panic and anxiety relief” by Andrea Watcher
(Insight Timer)

You can also try out these other techniques to come back to your body and be with your fear with the fear melters from Gay Hendricks.
Read my post on them here: “Melting fears into flow

How does it lands for you? Share your your reflections
And if you found this information relevant, share with whoever you feel could benefit from that.

Spread the love ❤️!

Further reading: “The Language of Emotion” by Karla McLaren

Have you lost your North Star?

Have you ever felt you’ve lost why you are doing things?

What really makes sense to you? What really gives you energy to get up in the morning and makes you excited to start a new day?

That’s what having a vision is for.

Maybe you already worked with your personal vision at some point in the past.

But you are evolving, changing all the time, having new experiences, learning, discovering new aspects, having new insights.

That’s what I got in contact with while doing my body painting practice one morning. Watch and listen to the words…

Time to Dream Again
To reconnect with my star
My North Star
The one 
That shines for me

To ask my heart
How does it look like
From the new vantage point
I’ve came to

I don’t recognize anymore
What I once dreamt
I’m unsure what it all means today
So it’s time to pause

Time to feel
And wonder
And let what’s true
Reach me again

(C) Olivia Florian – 2019

So even when you connected to your vision at some point you need to check in with it again. Review it. Feel into what’s really true now. Is your vision still aligned and lighting you up or are there elements that needs to be reframed so that it reflects the person you have become?

Or maybe you never really worked with an own vision and wonder what’s in it for you?

It’s really about coming out of survival mode and move into thriving mode.

Instead of continuing to do the things that you always have done and that have maintained you alive but that don’t work anymore for you to feel fulfilled.

A vision is a compass for navigating your life. Like the North Star 🌟 

It’s a reminder of what you are here for. Where you are going. It’s what makes your heart rejoice.

When you are in that place where you feel that nothing’s working, where joy eludes you, without a clear North Star, the risk is that you navigate life by trying to escape the pain, the unfulfilling job, the unsatisfying relationship.

The down side of motivation by rejection is that it stays strong only as long you are in the midst of what’s painful. As soon you have taken some step away, the discomfort is less intense and thus your motivation too.

More than that it does really give you a direction. When you want to avoid a situation, anything else will do. But what is it you really want?

On the other hand when you have a North Star, a clear identified desire, you have now a direction. And each step towards it strengthens your motivation. It acts like a magnet for you.

Outer change begins inside

And the magnet is really where your attention is going, on what you are focusing on. In the case of escaping a unpleasant situation, your thoughts and focus are on the situation, on that you don’t want. On the other hand, when you are focused on your North Star you are giving attention to your desire. Your thoughts are a creative force. That’s where all starts.

Connect to what you really love and want

A challenge can be to allow yourself to express your actual dream, what you really long for because your rational mind just tells you as soon as you start to express your dream that you have no idea on how to do that, that it’s too big, unrealistic.

When your dream is too far from your present life experience there are no evidence in sight that what you are wanting is in the realm of possibilities. You need a change of perspective to move towards your dream. If you see life as a static picture and just look at this present moment picture, it’s very probable that you won’t find what you are looking for in that picture. But if you see life as a process where the picture evolves all the time, revealing new aspects of life and yourself, the picture step by step, choice by choice, reveals more and you come closer to your dream.

Let go of “how”, start with “What”

When you start to explore your vision you need to listen to your heart, your soul, your higher self and see WHAT you desire and let the HOW come later when the picture is sufficiently clear and anchored, including your specific role in the whole picture that you depicted. 

If you let the HOW come too early, you will end up with at vision that doesn’t fulfill your soul or your heart and the motivation will just be short lasting and soon disappear.

The path is the goal

A trap that happens with vision is to consider it like a faraway dream, something we will eventually get to someday. But the only moment we are alive is Now. The past is gone and the future is just a infinite potential of possibilities or fear depending on the energy we come from.

Living goal oriented is like wanting to attain the top of a mountain. What we discover once we come there, is a new landscape we couldn’t see nor imagine before, new places to discover. A new mountain to climb. 

Another metaphor for life is to understand it as a dance. In a dance you’re not aiming to go from A to B. What matters is all that happens during the dance: the movements, the rhythms, the sensations, the experience of flow and harmony (or disruption and chaos ;).

So why having a vision and goals? To express ourselves, experience life, choose a life path according to our preferences and unique abilities. And be aware of the way you love to feel, prefer to feel, and choose what will give you now and later this feeling.

As only the present moment is real and no goal is ever the ultimate goal, by knowing your souls feelings – those state you actually want to live from, feel more often in your life, you can use them in the present to both fuel you and be your compass.

To discover the role of these feelings and get a taste of you own soul feelings, click here to play with me in a guided exercise to help you bring this to light.

Storms of despair

Sometimes I wonder
How am I really doing
Lately I’ve been so easily intensely shaken
Strong feelings, no more horizon, no more perspective
Just feeling the hardship

What to do when it comes strong
Again and again?
I know these feelings need to be felt
The part feeling distressed, crying for love and support
In a world that doesn’t seem
To offer just that

Or is it true?
I know also the infinite beauty
I also heard that voice in me
So late as yesterday
Saying- there’s nothing wrong with this planet
All is there for love to be felt
And expressed

And my emotional waves continue
To give me rides in the depths of despair
Where I see no light
No bright futures to hold onto
As a raft of the tumultuous
Ocean of pain, doubts, brokenness

So I try to sit beside me
And feel the love for this creature who’s me
That she’s craving
That’s all she needs
Being loved in all her aspects
And more than anything else
She wants to feel how She
Life, humans, trees, the mysteries

Waves, ebb and flows
How do I help these suffering parts of me to see
That there are all reasons
To stand up again
And that the feeling of ease and joy
Can stay more tangible

Some people tell me
It’s a choice to be made
Moment by moment
To feel and fuel yourself
From ease and joy
From Love
From source

She prays
That next time the stormy feeling settles
And let the surface of her inner world
Rest in beauty and light
For the peaceful feeling
To linger longer in her
So she can feel nurtured
And build her strength
So that she might
Act in this world
And spread her light
To all others

She has also been reminded of
Not to take her waves, her up and downs
Too personally
Not make it mean anything about herself
About her worthiness
These are waves
Where highs and lows follow each other’s
In cycles repeating themselves
Just be with it

And choose
In life
And land into what is
Rest at the low of the waves

Create experiences of connectedness

How do I create an experience of the world that is more connected, that is more loving?

That’s the kind of questions that we need to ask ourselves when we wonder how to touch more people to change their behaviors. And just do that! In the small, intimate sphere and in the larger public sphere, in our work.

Changes of behaviors that really help manifesting the change serving Life need to be rooted in a change of beliefs systems.
Getting experiences that reconnect us to our love, to others, to life is what fosters change in beliefs systems.

It’s never about persuasion, coming with enough logical, rational, scientific evidences. We replace the old paradigm by practicing, offering a taste of the new one. That’s how the necessary shift can occur.

I’m happy to share this interview from Charles Eisenstein who have been a deep inspiration source for me these past years for what is possible and that following my heart is the only thing that makes sense!

So what are your ways to create more connectedness?

Vision and Rhythms

I know the power of being connected to my vision so I regularly review what are my longings and what I invite more of in my life.

Still tired but inspired, I share with you…

And what I got confronted again was my relationship to the highs and lows – fearing and rejecting the lows and still knowing that the life I really long for allows me to enjoy resting, not doing, breathe out and let my tank be refilled

High and low energies integrated in the vision – Give and receive

So after two days resting and wondering what would I do if I felt right now sparkling energy, I came up with a new picture, centered on the rhythms of my energies, where I just surf the wave without judgement, doing what the high energy makes possible, invite my peace to rest and receive what I need in the low of the wave.

Following the waves of Life

From that place, what I dream to do and live is so much more accessible. My creativity wakes up and my confidence in next wave to come grows

Love what is – movement and stillness

Follow your own pace!

Do you feel at ease with the pace of life around you? Or are you struggling to keep up and push yourself to deliver answers and results more quickly? Do you know what your true pace is and how does it influence your ability to be in flow and at ease in your life?

Made wrong during childhood 

One strong memory I have from preschool time, as a 4 year old, is sitting alone in the classroom while the other kids are playing outside. I’m punished because I haven’t finished my eggshells collage. My schoolteacher made clear to me: I’m too slow and should train to catch up.

The feeling of inadequacy grew through the years, with anguish and difficulties to perform as asked during each first term of each grade to bloom later in the second half of the year.

Later, during my mechanical Ms.Sc studies, I remember a meeting to start a project with a car museum manager. My mentor teacher lectured me after the meeting for not having taken the chance to ask more questions- meaning that I missed the opportunity to do so. From my side, I had been absorbing all the new information I was given and couldn’t reach in the moment the point where I could discern what kind of other information would be necessary.

So I tried to adapt and integrated that I should be able to deliver more quickly. Went along in life pushing myself to perform, often feeling highly stressed and inadequate doing so.

The courage of the Snail!

Escargot003During my training as a lifecoach, we talked about courage and should chose an animal as a symbol for our courage. I first couldn’t come up with anything, but our coach would let this be my answer. So after some long seconds in discomfort , I burst out: 

“It can’t possibly be a snail! It’s so smal and fragile, anyone might crush it anytime”

While saying this I realised that it required courage to be this little slow snail, amongst all the fast moving people. This metaphor helped me to connect to some of my aspects, own them, understanding more the gifts in them.

Getting at ease with my way of being 

This journey led me to explore the implications of introversion and reading about it could see more clearly that my slow response in new encounters and situations is my natural way that goes hand in hand with my love to go deeper into things.


How easy is it for you to go through life at just your pace? What are the challenges for you? What do you witness in your life when you allow yourself to follow your pace?

Please feel free to write your reflections here.

Live a good life!

What treasures are you hiding?

We are all so much more complex then we are often willing to show. And there are aspects of life we haven’t learn to value, because it was either made wrong or overviewed when we grew up.

For instance, I’m grown upp in a family where art wasn’t something serious – that it won’t bring food on the family table. I never felt made wrong for my drawings but it wasn’t encouraged either. On the other hand, learning to read, write, mathematics and science were skills that were rewarded both at school and at home.

So I chose the mechanical engineering path and was proud and happy with that for a while. But that wasn’t all of me.

Some years ago, I reconnected with my love for drawing with at therapist. She made me discover a way to connect  with my inner world, reach to parts of me that I otherwise found difficult to get in touch with. A wonderful way of expression.

What are you ways of expression? What do you hide in your closet, keep for yourself when you’re on your own, no one seeing or listening? What juicy ingredient of you are you dismissing because you don’t believe it’s enough valuable to be seen? Or that you feel cannot be part of what you bring to the world because you haven’t had role-models for this in your life?

I’m curious to hear what you connect to with these questions. Feel free to leave a comment here!

Liv a living life!