Our journey is a succession of commitment cycles
As I made the leap to quit my engineering job for creating a life more Life giving, I was studying natural farming and permaculture, supported by my partner without knowing how I would create that place I had begun to visualize where people would come to reconnect with themselves, nature and a deeper sense of meaning.
The vision deepened during a 9-month-course in “Inner Leadership for Outer Change” from my mentor Debbie Warrener from England. It became more clearly about creating a new Earth, in a co-living conscious community. As I explored that vision, I could really feel in my all being how it would feel to live that way and soon I made my first steps to join a building community.
I backed off from that group, somewhat bruised and determined to find more tools to navigate group dynamics, create supportive communities and gather my tribe.
At this point I left my 24-year relationship, started my coaching journey and begun creating my own business to support others to step into the call of their soul.
From being my main drive, the community dream glided in the background, emerging regularly in the foreground time and again.
About a month ago, I felt called to check out the details of a 3-month-long conscious community experiment. This launched a tremendous amount of internal movement. First reconnecting to the Soul calling, then all kinds of fears inherent to initiating big changes.
In my process to decide if I wanted to apply to live for 3 month in another European country, I heard myself say “not in my current financial situation”.
That woke me up. This wasn’t an answer to “Do I want to do that?” This was answering : “Do I know HOW to get there?” And if there is something that I know and integrate more and more is that this is NEVER the first question to ask yourself.
When you set out a vision, or make a significant decision at any step of your journey, what matters first is to answer WHAT do you want. Really connect to the YES or no for the what in itself.
The HOW will then unfold once you are committed.
As soon as I asked myself the question, “If the finance was taken care of, would I want to do that?” My answers became clear. I am a YES for moving in that direction. Then a wave of emotion came through and I connected to the wounds after my first attempt to join a community. My fears of not being able to handle what happens in a group. My fears of not having the inner resources to meet other people and stay true to me. And then recognizing that these fears don’t justify stopping living. That it is the vulnerable journey of love and connection. That’s my journey. The warrior of Love.
Then inspiration directly flowed with ideas for helping my finances to support my soul’s goal.
Ensued shaking waves of healing.
Have you also experience a lot of turbulences lately and old woundings coming up to the surface? For me it has been intense and still going on, so I’m grateful to take a few days off during Easter to integrate, nurture and recharge!
How are You answering your soul’s calling?
Share in the comments!